My Story Part One

Summer 2006
300 Pounds

     So you're probably wondering how on earth 23 a year old got to be 264 pounds. Well I'll start by saying I used to weigh a lot more than that. At 19 years old I was pushing 300 pounds! And I am now 228 pounds. In this blog I will explain how I lost that 72 pounds and what I'm doing to lose the remaining 77 pounds. But for now here's my story.

     I was born in October 1986 to two wonderful people named Danny and Lona. I had a pretty normal childhood with a few exceptions. My parents used to fight. A LOT. And when I was six years old they divorced. It's sad to say even those situations are pretty normal these days.

     I can still remember the day they sat my sisters and I down to let us know that dad was going to be moving out. I remember asking when he was coming back. At that age I had no idea what in the heck divorce meant. When my dad explained to me that he wouldn't be coming home and that he would be getting his own house I remember being a little bit excited. Excited because I would have two homes to live in. How naive was I?

     Dad moved out and life went on. He started dating and within the first year he had gotten remarried. His second wife's name was Susan. My family liked to call her the red headed beast. She was a dental hygienist, she had tons of money, three kids, and a great big house. At first everything was great. Everyone got along and we were able to visit every weekend. But after a few months things started to change. She started "picking" on my sister and I. Her kids would make a mess, we were forced to clean it up. That sort of thing. After the picking came her drinking. She would drink and flip out on everyone. Especially my dad. Calling him names, telling him that he wasn't a "real" man. Not even married a year and the marriage was annulled.

     Right after there divorce my older sisters paternal father died. I was seven years old. I had no clue that we had different dad's. And apparently neither did she. He worked around grain bins where they store the corn for farm animals. He was clearing off the top step inside of one of the bins and fell off the edge. To put it simply he was suffocated by corn. When they finally drained the bin and got to his body he was curled up in a ball with his hands covering his face. My sister was crushed. Absolutely crushed. From that day on she stopped calling my dad, dad. She stopped going on weekend visits with my younger sister and I. And started skipping school.

     That was when things really started to change. There I was eight years old, my dad had been through two divorces and  I found out that my big sister was actually my half sister. That is when the weight started slowly creeping on. By age eleven I weighed almost 100 pounds. Kids at school were starting to poke fun and even people in my family had something to say. One memory I have is a boy named Derrick. We were waiting for our school bus and he called me a "Goodyear Blimp". His friends all started high fiving and giggling.

     My dad married yet again when I was fourteen. She was the big boobed, blond, twenty something. My sister and I both LOVED Deanne. She was funny, she was smart, she liked to go shopping, and she was just fun to be around. During there marriage was my "goth" faze. I died my hair black, I wore dark eyeliner, I would tight black clothes. During there marriage I was also getting into that boy crazy stage. Every week I was dating a different guy. I didn't have sex with any of them. It was more like hot steamy make out sessions with a bit of touching here and there. With all of these boys my mom went into protective parent mode. I wasn't allowed to have any guy friends. AT ALL! If I was caught near a boy she would rip my ass. With all these new rules came a LOT of rebellion and my new discovery of my bisexuality. Every time you'd look around I'd be sneaking out of my bedroom window to meet with boys. I was going to hang out with friends and not checking in when I was supposed to. I started stealing alcohol from the pantry and smoking the weed I found in my mom's closet. School was the last place I wanted to be but there was no getting out of it. So I went. Mostly because that's where my friends were. But my grades were terrible and I was constantly getting into fights.

     Next came the high school years. Not the worst out of all of my years but not the best either. My mom had gotten remarried. My dad had gotten married for the third time and I packed on some more pounds. My freshman year of high school I weighed in at a whopping 200 pounds. I made new friends and started actually trying in school. Life was getting much, MUCH easier. My junior year I met a guy named Kevin. We started hanging out and eventually began dating. In August 2004 he asked me to marry him. I moved in with him and his parents when I was seventeen. That's when the real weight gain began. Within the first year I weighed 235 pounds.

     In February 2005 Kevin and I got our first apartment together. I was soooo excited to have my own place! I could cook and clean and decorate my own space. A few short months later my life was changed FOREVER.

     I don't remember the date exactly but I do remember that it was warm outside and storming like crazy. I was sitting at my computer playing Free cell when my yellow and black Nextel phone rang. I flipped the lid to see who was calling. When I saw "Daddy" I the screen I had this gut feeling that something was wrong. I answered "Hello" his voice was already cracking when he said "hello baby girl". I said "what's wrong, or you okay"? All he said was "no". There was a moment of silence and whaling like a baby he said "I just can't do this anymore". Hearing those words brought tears to my eyes because I knew what was coming next. "Yes you can daddy! You are stronger than you think". "No honey I can't". With another long silence eventually he said "take care of your little sister for me". I started screaming and crying begging him to just talk to me and not hang up the phone. He said "I love you baby" and hung up on me. I was still screaming and sobbing while flipping through the contacts on my phone. There is was... Papaw! The entire time the phone was ringing I was praying that he was home. And there it was. "Hello". Still sobbing I said "get to daddy right now"! I was screaming so loud and crying so hard he couldn't understand a word I was saying. He said "what is it baby girl? Just calm down for a second so I can understand you." I repeated myself and he said "I'm running out the door as we speak" and hung up. I was still freaking out. I didn't know if he would make it on time. I called my mom and told her what happened and then I called Kevin at work to tell him and he decided to come home early. After I got off the phone with him my grandpa called and told me that he made it. And that dad was okay.

     That is the night that changed my life forever. After the phone call within four years I gained 65 pounds. I lost contact with all of my friends, I became paranoid about death.